My Fertility Quest

Hi, My name is Charlene.  I’m new to this group and to Alabama. I am 34 years old (talk about clock ticking!) About 2 years ago, my husband and I found out we were 6 weeks pregnant.  We were so elated, only to find out at the appointment to see our baby’s heartbeat that we were ectopic, and would have to undergo emergency surgery.  In the process, not only did I lose the baby, but lost my left fallopian tube also.  Almost a year and a half of trying later, we found out we were pregnant again, by some sort of miracle.  We were progressing along quite nicely in the pregnancy (almost 5 months) when we were hit by an irresponsible driver, and I ended up losing our twins we were carrying.  Despite all this tragedy, we still keep trying.

egg donation

Hi!  My name is Alexis and I was born and raised in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.  I now own an egg donation agency in the southern California area, but have a few donors that are local to Alabama.  If any of you need a donor in Alabama just contact me!  Also, I know a lot of fertility treatments take place in California, so I would be happy to refer or make recommendations if you do have to reach outside the Alabama area.  I know it can be overwhelming, so I thought having a girl from back home help if ever needed would be a good thing.  I wish all of you so much happiness. (805)222-5006    goldeneggdonation.com     info@goldeneggdonation.com

We Missed You

Hi ladies! We missed those of you who weren’t able to attend our last get together but boy did we have fun. I think that , with a little bit of prodding, we would have all happily stayed and closed the restaurant for the night. To take a peek at what you missed, zip over to sharah’s blog  when you get a chance.

Hope all is well with everyone. If you get a chance, be sure to post here and either introduce yourself (welcome to our new members) and/or let us know what’s new in your world.

Happy Spring! ~ Kellie

Will you be there?

Tomorrow’s another dinner out for us ladies!  Do you plan on being there?

 You can count me in!

To see details click on the “Our Next Gathering” page on the right.

Anyone got a match?

’cause I need to light a fire under my social worker! (BIG Sigh!) The hurry up and wait part of this whole adoption thing is making me grumpy!

~ Kel

Thank You Kellie

First of all I want also would like to thank Kellie for putting this wonderful blog together. The WAITT support group is just full of extraordinary women whom I admire so much. My journey started 3 years ago. As soon as I got married my clock was ticking….I was 30 years old and I really wanted to start a family with my husband. At first I didn’t want to stress about it and let it happen when it was going to happen. Then I became impatient and decided to “really” start trying. Soon after that I became pregnant. Needless to say we were thrilled but…. 9 weeks later we lost our little one. I had a DNC and really took it hard. I just moved to AL and did not know the WAITT group yet. My friends back home did not understand my pain and as IF crept into my life my real friends became more apparent and I was hurt to realize I had only one or two left. After 3 rounds of clomid, we too went to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist. At first they found nothing wrong with either one of us. We even got pregnant again on our first IUI, but that ended up being a chemical pregnancy and lost that one too. Suddenly the RE found things wrong with both of us and this only heighted our stress and fear. Five IUI’s later still no luck. We then decided to try a shot at IVF. We did the whole 45 day treatment of BCP, daily injectables, mood swings, weight gain and all that fun stuff. Only to reach the end and be told I only had 3 good eggs and a 30% success rate of achieving a pregnancy with this cycle. So in lieu of spending major cash for a 30% success rate, we decided to take our losses and do yet another IUI instead. Well due to the large amounts of medication I was taking I ended up with Overhyperstimulation Syndrome which resulted in no IUI and a one night stay at the hospital and more than a week off week on bed rest. Needless to say my husband and I were so frustrated, we looked for ways to find support and then I found the WAITT group. I too was contemplating adoption when the idea of being a foster parent and adopting that route seemed like a good plan. So my husband and I took a break from IF treatment and decided started our 10 week Foster Care Course. Three months into the class I found out I was pregnant. Yes! Pregnant! All by ourselves!! At this time I am 6 months pregnant with some hurdles that came along the way. I am considered high risk and had a cervical stitch put in. So we are hoping all will be ok. I hope that my story helps anyone who reads it. WAITT is a wonderful group of women and anything you say here will never be judged. No-one understands the pain of pregnancy loss and/ or infertility like some-one who has gone through it. So just know that you can open you heart here. We’re all ready to listen

Kellie’s Story

Since I was 3 years old and held my infant cousin Eric for the first time, I’ve wanted to be a mom. Of course, at that age I didn’t  understand how that all worked. I just knew that whatever Eric was, he was pretty swell and I wanted one.

I met my husband when I was 35 -one of those “love at first sight” things that you see in a Nora Efron film - and we were married 8 months later. We spent our first couple of years together just enjoying our life , not worrying about starting a family, even as my biological clock ticked louder and louder.

I’ve always had “problems” in that area - extremely sporadic periods, thick uterine lining, blah blah blah. I think on some level I knew that once we started trying to get pregnant, we’d quickly be moving into the world of “Assisted Reproductive Technology”. (Actually, there’s no “think” about it - I was reading infertility blogs a year before my husband and I ever started trying to conceive.) Sure enough, after several months of “trying” and three rounds of Clomid, we were knocking on the RE’s door. We had plans for an IUI, but for seven months I was unable to start a cycle because my uterine lining was “slightly too thick” for the doctor’s liking. I can’t describe the frustration as I went in hopeful every month only to be told that my body had failed once again, in yet another way. I was finally fed up last summer and after some long, heartfelt conversations with my husband we decided to go in a different direction.

We spent the winter doing everything required to become certified to adopt a child through the state of Alabama. Gosh, what an up & down, hurry up & wait process it’s been. We think (fingers crossed) that we’re done with our part after our final home visit with our spical worker earlier this week. The way I understand it, she will type up the study and forward it along to the state DHR office so we can be put into the statewide computer bank of potential adoptive parents. Who knows how long THAT process will take, given how overworked DHR social workers are, but at least we’re seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.

So, that’s the Reader’s Digest Condensed Version of my story thus far. I am anxious and hopeful and excited and scared all at the same time. Let’s hope this story has a happy ending.

What Infertility has Taught Me

A cousin of mine has just found out that she has a condition that will change her life.  It’s not terminal, but it certainly has far reaching permanent side effects.  We’ve never been super close, but we’ve started making efforts to establish a relationship.  She sent me the most personal email to date about this condition.  Here’s a snippet of my response:

I’m sorry that you may be staring down the barrel of surgery.  It’s a bit unnerving.  You’re right that your spinal cord and everything surrounding it is a very critical area.  One thing infertility has taught me is to not just dole out advice on something you know nothing about.  So, of course, I had a date with Dr. Google to look up what’s going on with you.  It sounds like the surgery won’t fix the problem, but prevent it from getting worse.  There’s a lot of information out there, and I’m sure you are pouring over it to figure out what to do.  I hope you find a path that you are comfortable with.  The decision can’t be easy, and I sympathize with you. 

I can understand the “I’m freakin’ defective,” frustrations.  I had seen numerous doctors about my painful periods, inability to get pregnant, and irregular bleeding.  None of them ever took me seriously or discovered my “birth defect.”  Hell, I had had the thing for 26 years and nobody knew?  Insane.  This is something they could have detected before I was even born.  Alas, it was discovered and I had to deal with it.  I got the wrong diagnosis several times.  Now that’s enough to drive you nuts.  I think I shed enough tears to create a size able pond in our back yard.  Coming to terms with what was wrong was no picnic.  I don’t think there is any one way to do this.  I’m certain I would still be pretty angry and upset if my surgery hadn’t been successful in correcting the issue.

I want you to know that you can talk about this with me any time.  Like I said, I have very little in the way of advice, but I listen well.  I promise to not pass judgment when it comes to your decisions, but rather I will respect them.  It’s your body, your life, and only you know you best.  Keep your chin up.  You will figure all of this out one day at a time. 

Her response was sweet, and the kind where you know that you said the right thing.  I can guarantee you that I would have said all of the wrong things prior to this infertility journey.  I’m not exactly saying that this is a perk of infertility, but perhaps a small silver lining.  Who knew a bum uterus could bring me closer with my family?  Certainly not me!

So happy to be here!

I want to thank Kellie for creating this virtual living room for those of us who live in the Northern Alabama area and are affected by infertility.  I can’t say enough about the amazing women I have met that live right here in my own back yard.  They are a phenomenal group, and my life is better just by knowing them.  I think we all have something different to bring to the table, and thankfully we get to do just that every third Wednesday of the month. 

My story can be found on my blog.  We’re five years into our family building, and it has been five years of extreme highs and lows.  It’s been a wild ride, and it’s about to get even more so.  We have a pending adoption.  Our little guy whose alias online is “Lucky,” came to us at five weeks old through social services.  He’s now ten months old.  We are also going through IVF.  Currently I’m on birth control pills so that my body will be on track for an April transfer. 

Enough about me.  I can’t wait to hear more from all of you.  I love this space, and hope we all get to use it like a living room couch.  So, I’m just going to plop down here next to Kellie and drink some warm tea. 

Our Next Get Together

Just a note to remind eveyone that our next WAITT get together will be:

Wednesday March 19 at 6pm

Casa Blanca Restaurant

1001 Heathland Drive (off University near Madison Square Mall, in front of Suzuki Driving 2000)

Please RSVP through this site, meetup.com, or you can e-mail me at kfc1206@charter.net . With busy lives and unpredictable schedules, sometimes there are just 2 or 3 of us at a meeting on any given month. If there are last minute changes or meeting cancellations, I want to make sure that I can contact those planning to attend so no one is “stood up”.

See y’all there and please try to keep me out if the chips and salsa if at all possible. Thanks in advance. ~ Kellie